Friday, February 11, 2011

How to Solve America's Problems with the Internet

In America, if you want access to things that can be considered harmful, you must first achieve a minimum age or obtain a license. 

Think about it.  Owning a gun, driving a car,  purchasing alcohol or tobacco, and joining the Armed Forces all require that you pass a significant birthday or become licensed before you can be accepted into the qualified realms.

What's so significant about these prerequisites is that they establish competency. The local D.M.V. needs to know that you're competent before taking the road behind the wheel of 2000-lb. automobile.

If we want to solve some of the problems that have been created by misuse of the Internet, I propose that legislation be created to limit some Americans' access to the Web.

Creating a system where only those who qualify are permitted to use the Internet will clean up many of the criminal and outright stupid acts being perpetrated by our citizens. 

Most recently, Congressman Chris Lee resigned from his post after shirtless pics of himself were discovered on the 'Net.  The married Representative from New York was sexting a woman whom he met on Craigslist.  Lee said that he was a single lobbyist (both lies) in trying to hook up with the lady. 

How could this have been avoided?

My idea is that everyone who wants to use the Internet needs to earn a government  issued password.  A clearance, so to speak. Plus, you'd have to be at least 15 years-old to surf the Web.

People my age never had the Internet until our senior year of high school and we came out okay.

To get this Internet license, individuals would go into a state office and take a test.  Your answers would fall along a scale that would let the administrators know your tendencies for using the 'Net.

Potential pedophile? Fail. Unfaithful to your spouse in the past?  Fail. Theft and drug addiction?  Fail!

If there were safeguards such as these in place, it would keep perverts from using the web to find kiddie p0rn and solicit sex from teenagers.  Better yet, those under 15 wouldn't even be allowed online get victimized by those types.

Relationships would be a little safer because those who scored in the "Cheater" range of the scale would be denied, thus limiting their opportunities to surf the social networks for potential hook-ups.

Thieves and drug addicts couldn't get a license, which would decrease the credit card schemes and Internet-based identity theft.

Probably most importantly, any individuals that fit the description of a "Hacker" would be denied immediately, keeping more of our passwords and preferences secure. 

Yes, passing this legislation would decrease the amount of people who have access to the Internet by thousands...millions maybe.  Equally, it would bring down sex crimes against kids and the number of people who lose their spouses to the side-pieces they met on Facebook.

If less people can use the web, then so be it.  Like it used to say on my middle school bus pass, riding the bus "is a privilege, not a right." The same goes for using the Internet. 

People are losing their jobs, their families, and their minds because of an obsession with being online.

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